I Grew Up with Men Like This
What J.D. Vance is really selling — and why we need to name it.
I grew up with men like J.D. Vance.
Not exactly him. But the same vibe.
That calm, calculated, “father-knows-best” tone. The voice that doesn’t raise itself because it doesn’t have to—because the whole room already believes him.
And I did too—for a long time.
I was taught to trust that tone. In church. In school. In civics class.
Trust logic over emotion.
Trust the Constitution.
Trust male leadership.
Especially if he spoke with a Bible in one hand and a founding document in the other.
But what I’ve learned is this:
That calm voice? That reasonable tone?
It’s not always wisdom.
A lot of the time, it’s fear—fear of losing unearned control.
In his Claremont speech, J.D. Vance said:
“We must resist the ideology that seeks to reorder our society from the top down.”
Sounds noble, right?
Here’s what he actually means:
We need to stop people—women, queer folks, Black folks, working-class folks—from having any say in how things run. Because that threatens men like me. Men like YOU.
And J.D. Vance is not just speaking to the angry 19-year-old on Reddit.
He’s speaking to the CEO of the medical device company.
The one who still sees himself as a “good guy.”
He’s 52, 54, 56.
He’s got a house in the suburbs.
He coaches the local Swim Team or Little League.
He writes checks to church.
He hires women. He promotes a few. and feels REALL proud of himself for being so evolved to do so.
He still calls is assistant ‘hon’
And during the Holidays he hands out $25 gift cards to the men who BREAK THEIR BACKS for him all year, and calls it a generous bonus.
But inside?
He’s still a 12-year-old emotionally.
No one’s ever asked him to grow.
He’s always been in charge.
And now, the culture has changed.
His team doesn’t look up to him the same way.
His daughter challenges him.
His wife has her own voice.
The people around him have evolved.
And instead of saying, “Okay—I need to evolve too,”
he’s clinging to the belief that everyone else should sit down so he can stay in charge.
That’s who J.D. Vance is talking to.
Not a political base.
A power base.
These men were handed authority—
not because they were wise or emotionally mature—
but because the system trained all of us to submit to their posture.
And now that people have stopped treating them like gods, they feel attacked.
But they’re not being attacked.
They’re being invited to grow.
And Vance’s message is:
“Don’t bother. You don’t need to change. Just get your seat back.”
He says things like:
“Republicans…we’re terrified of wielding power. Isn’t it just common sense that when we’re given power, we should do something with it?”
And on the surface, that might sound good—like leadership.
But what he’s actually saying is:
When we get power, we don’t share it.
We use it to reshape the world in our image—before anyone else gets a shot.
And listen. I know these men.
I know the ones who mean well.
The ones who really think they’re good guys.
But “good guy” isn’t a pass anymore.
If the only thing you’re offering is your presence, but you’ve never done the internal work—
if you expect women, queer folks, and people of color to shrink to make you feel comfortable—
Then you’re not a leader.
You’re just a modern-day plantation master with a microphone.
And that’s what J.D. Vance is recruiting.
So this isn’t just about politics.
It’s about emotional maturity.
It’s about who we’re willing to follow—and who we’re done submitting to.
I’m not here to obey anymore.
I’m not here to flatter fragile power.
I’m here to grow.
And if you feel it too—if you’re done mistaking stillness for wisdom and confidence for care—then stay with me.
Because the next part is going to explain exactly how this shit works—and why they’re banking on you not paying attention.
My word. You nailed it. Words for what is happening that make it so easy to understand what’s going on.